whereupon i take a deep breath and run screaming into the night

I need a break

from the kids.

from the house.

from the relatives.

from the cat.

from the dog.

I want just one week where I am not referee, chief counselor, and maid.
I want some time where the dishes stay done and quit getting messy even when I'm not there.
I want certain relatives to quit writing if all they are going to write is one more demand, forward one more anti-everything-I-stand-for screed, or insist on sending something that takes Outlook to open it. I don't have Outlook. I don't have it for a reason. You know this. STOP.
I want the cat to quit scratching holes in the door when I'm trying to sleep. You peed in the bathroom and I got to step in it and you are not allowed in here any more. Get used to it.
She's sweet, she's large, and I want someone else to pick up after the dog this week.

I'm going to go sulk in the greenhouse and knit socks.